Having designed and built gardens all my life, I bought my first camera when I was 47. Photography gave me an opportunity to have conversations about myself through questioning others. I don’t just take some snaps and then go, I fully immerse myself in the lives of the friends I make. Who am I to speak on anybody’s behalf if I haven’t experienced what they have, myself?
I photograph where I live, in south Wales, because I know it better than anywhere else, but in this case I wanted to document a community I lived near but wasn’t part of. The body of work this picture is part of came about as a result of working with people who have been in and out of prison and become trapped in a cycle of incarceration, freedom then back to incarceration. I was wondering what draws them back to the place where they committed all their crimes.
I found a kind of tour guide who’d been released from prison after many, many years, though he’s since gone back inside. He became my friend. He took me around the estate where he lived. During that process, I met a guy who’d just “acquired” a plot of land – I’m using the word loosely. He had chickens, horses and ducks, and he’d just bought some young doves. He told me the most beautiful story, which became a big part of the thought process behind my work.
He said that at first he’d put the doves’ food on the floor of the cage, so they’d start to learn about love and family. After a week or two, he put the cage up on top of the horses’ stable, from where the doves would be able to see the clock tower on the school opposite, and he’d feed them up there. Finally, he opened the cage door and they were free.
But they’d always fly back to that cage, after homing in on the clock tower – after a few weeks, he’d release them 500 miles away and they’d still find their way back, he said. They had the freedom to fly anywhere, but this was home. They’d go back into their cage, and the owner would lock them in.
As it happens, the day I was on this guy’s plot there were kids playing all around. One kid had gone into a caravan, and he looked out at me and in that moment, I made this image. As viewers, we do the rest of the work in our heads – it’s our projection. Does he look reflective? Does he look sad? Actually, he was having loads of fun.
In essence, my work is about home, family and relationships. It is all made with people who are friends with each other. I’ll go months without even making an image at all, but my camera is always present. I edit the work into chapters and include text from the conversations I’ve recorded. This first chapter was called The Budgie Died Instantly, and was about the wider community. For the second chapter, It’s Hard to Report a Stolen Bike Stolen, the focus narrowed in on a particular group of friends, including a man called Tony who I’d approached after seeing him swearing and ranting in the street. We became dear friends, and the third chapter, As Far As They’re Concerned We Are a Normal Family, was all about Tony.
Tony had a townhouse but chose to live in a big bell tent in the garden. He was desperate to find his tribe. Sadly, he took his own life in 2022, and I haven’t really made any pictures since. He never got to find out that I’d moved into a caravan myself as part of the process between us – I’ve lived that way for four years now.
On reflection, I think Caravan Kid is looking out of the window and seeing the world at his feet. Kids are setting up their hierarchy at that age, they’re fighting for their place in the pecking order. There’s always a pecking order in both kids and adults, in the workplace and beyond. It’s that fight not to be the bottom dog.
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email [email protected] or [email protected]. In the US, you can call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
Nik Roche’s CV
Born: Neath, south Wales, 1970
Trained: MA Documentary Photography, University of South Wales, 2020.
Influences: Robin Maddock, Bertien van Manen, Michal Iwanowski, Paddy Summerfield, Jude Wall.
High point: “Being published by Setanta Books and Dewi Lewis Publishing. Receiving Arts Council of Wales funding to work with Tony. Having the opportunity to respond to Mother and Father, the beautiful work by my dear friend Paddy Summerfield which forms part of the book Pictures from the Garden.”
Low point: “Rejections are never nice.”
Top tips: “Never stop learning. Keep studying the work of others. Get a good friend who is supportive but critical who will push you to do your best work. Stay true to yourself.”
